If we are convicted, it is so that we can be restored. It is a phrase scoffed at today, but one that is nonetheless indicative of a proper understanding of love, sexuality and marriage. He created hormones to make everything work right and make us want to be sexual. Oddly enough, NFP, or natural family planning, is one of the most effective means, if not the most effective means of planning one's family. God means for all of them to be contained within marriage. When sex is disconnected from love and commitment, it also disconnects the body from the soul. Your wife shall be like a fruitful vine in the recesses of your home; Your children like olive plants around your table.
Guests are extremely welcome and interruptions seem not to be the annoyance they are for most; members of large families seem quite ready to drop everything to help someone else. This view, of course, has not stopped people from having babies, but one senses that many children are just another possession of their parents or just another experience that adults wish to have. Many Catholics are now rediscovering the practice of tithing and many of them at the prompting of their Protestant brethren. Sexual intimacy provides an opportunity for giving oneself to another in an exclusive way. Many young people enjoy the exercise of drawing up a list of characteristics they would like their future spouse to have. This view seems to be nearly as widespread among Christians as in the rest of society. The Anglican Church twice early in this century condemned contraception and then for the first time in passes a resolution that it was morally permissible for spouses to use contraception. Well, certainly a vows is not a vow until it is spoken; unspoken, unratified commitments are all too easily broken. The message of much TV, movies, and music is that there is no greater pleasure available, and that it is the right of every individual, even teenagers, to have this pleasure. Courtship is a marvelous time for talking and getting to know each other; for sketching out dreams and plans; for expressing worries and hesitations. Young people are notoriously irresponsible about nearly everything. This is a real situation. God means for all of them to be contained within marriage. For instance, today one out of two marriages end in divorce. Twenty years ago when the sexual revolution was beginning to be in full swing, many argued that the value of the sexual revolution was that it was going to liberate men and women from the repressive view of sexuality pervasive in society; people would be free to make love to those whom they loved without the strictures of marriage. Faithfulness is essential to create the relationship of trust which is the bedrock of all the other goods that flow from marriage. Thus, if spouses determine that they could not responsibly have another child at a given time, they have the self-mastery to control their sexuality so that it does not conflict with what they have determined to be good for the family. Christians who have the wisdom of the centuries should strive mightily themselves to live chaste lives and to form loving marriages and families, for such is vital to their eternal salvation and such may well be vital to the temporal well-being of the whole of society. The current pope uses an interesting phrase in his teachings on sex--and that is the term "language of the body", which is not so very different from our "body language. The gospel shows us that there is forgiveness for all who have sinned sexually, and it liberates us from the mindset that sex is intrinsic to human fulfillment. But after a few years, they find that in most surprising and often in quite spectacular ways, their needs are fulfilled. Certainly many of us because of our own foolishness, weakness or wickedness, or because of the foolishness, weakness or wickedness of others may not be able to form the marriage and families which we want and need. They believe that contraceptives are an obstacle not only to union with their spouses but also to union with God. Note the runaway epidemic of sexually transmitted diseases, and the resulting increase in infertility. Let me speak for a moment about marriage preparation. But there is no set age that someone must marry by. It is well attested that strong and secure families are more likely to produce strong and secure individuals; they produce individuals less likely to have problems with alcohol, sex, and drugs; they produce individuals more likely to be free from crippling neuroses and psychoses.
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