But you both deserve better. It also gets you in the mood by reducing stress and boosting your self-esteem. If you two are spending quality time together, you're happy. Tell him how to turn you on. Recharge your sexual batteries by doing things that let you break free from your hectic everyday life, says Berman. The thing is, you like sex — a lot. But mix it up a little:
But you both deserve better. Working out gives you a sense of pride and accomplishment, says Berman. How to break the stalemate? When you're relaxed and feeling good about yourself, sex will start to seem within the realm of possibility again. Read the list every morning. When you give him a little gratitude, it's a huge bonding moment for him. Pick a place you've never been and order a dish you've never had. Make the mind-body connection. When you're ready to move on to oral sex, or to bring in a few sex toys, speak up. You need to feel close to him to be inspired to make love, and he often needs sex to feel close to you, explains Berman. If you can't head off for the weekend, go out to dinner instead. You used to have so much fun in bed, but suddenly your sex life just isn't what it used to be. Or perhaps it's when you do yoga and achieve a mind-body meld. Research shows that new and adventurous activities may stimulate the brain to produce dopamine, a neurotransmitter that plays a key role in sexual desire. Get undressed, dim the lights and take turns exploring each other's bodies. The next thing you know, he'll be pushing past you to wipe the counter, change the kitty litter, and unload the dishwasher. Maybe it's after you finish a long run — your blood is pumping and you're relaxed and exhilarated. If you need another reason to exercise, consider this: Tell him how to turn you on. Turn chores into foreplay. Even in this enlightened age, women still spend about an hour more each day than men on household chores and childcare. The excitement, even the passion, are MIA. There is no one ideal. But when you're feeling disconnected, your relationship and your sex life suffer. After a few years together, it's easy to get lazy in bed. At least once a week, stand in front of the mirror naked and focus on your favorite features — your toned arms, your firm butt, your gorgeous breasts.
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